"Bastion:" a ruined world, a kickass narrator and a great game.

“Proper stories are supposed to start at the beginning.... ain't so simple with this one.  Now here's a kid whose whole world got all twisted, leaving him stranded on a rock in the sky.”--Rucks, Bastion

Supergiant Games' Bastion is one of the best games I've played all year.

Since we're fast approaching the end of the year, I've been thinking back on my year spent through playing games.  There are plenty of fantastic games that I've had the privilege to play that stick out in my memory:  Portal 2, Pokemon Black, Skyrim, Dark Souls, Skyward Sword and many more.  But one of the most special to me has also been the one that I most recently finished: Bastion.

Bastion is an action-adventure game/RPG that came out earlier this year, though I didn't give myself the chance to play it until recently when it was on SUPER SALE on Steam, that most wondrous online platform of all platforms.

UPDATED 12/29/2011: MERRY CATMAS, HALF-LIFE 3 WON'T COME IF YOU'RE GOOD OR NOT

EDITS TIME, most of the rumors in this original post have been proven to be false.  Therefore, it is now a parody of itself.  Everything in bold and red below will be edits that I added after the fact.  ENJOY.

Just a quick update here on this Christmas night:

1.  Merry Christmas from all of us here at "Quest for Cats!"  (which means Merry Christmas from just me).
2.  Half-Life 3 is most likely NOT coming out sometime, hopefully next year.

Pukesgiving: obligatory picture blog of what I'm thankful for

To those that were annoyed by the whininess of my last post, I apologize.  ZEES post, however, is the yang to the last post's yin.  The catharsis that was badly needed.  The hymns of Thanksgiving in Psalms of the Hebrew bible to the Lamentations of the past (I'm not religious, but the Old Testament is badass).

Here is a list of some people and things that I really need or want to give thanks to, without whom and which I definitely would either not be here this day, or otherwise would be an entirely different or entirely douchier person.

1.  My mom.

Idn't she precious?  Ignore that weird fucker to the left.

My mom is the epitome of the term "tough old bird,"(just like her mom and my grandma Peggy, who deserves special mention here too because she's fucking awesome and crazy) and will continue to be such as life continually hands her bullshit and she throws it back in its face as much as possible.  She's gone through a lot of awful things in her life, including the events of this last year, but through it all she's kept her humor and an insane amount of compassion.

She's absolutely wonderful and the most supportive, accepting and loving person I've ever met even despite being jaded by the shit she's had to deal with.

I know I don't say it enough, mom, (if you're reading this, which I'm sure you will at some point) but I love you.  And I know I'm definitely not the best son in the world a lot of the time, and you deserve a lot more respect than you get, and so I'm sorry, too.

Thanks, mom.  You are the best.

Bitterness, melancholy and family trips.

...ohhh gawd.

Family trips are always a moderately frustrating thing for my family, mostly because we have to deal with living with each other in a vacuum for an extended period of time with no escape, especially when we're cramped in my crazy grandma Peggy's tiny trailer in depressing-ass Marion, Indiana.  Also, we're all (specifically my mom and my brother) incredibly stubborn.  Of course, though, this is nothing new.  From the dawn of time man has gotten stircrazy when in close confines with the rest of his/her family (pic above very related).

Normally, all of this is manageable.  But not this year.  As a result of a number of pretty awful circumstances this year there's one less person celebrating with us, and we're all the worse for what happened.

The amount of bitterness between all of us --especially during the holidays after the baggage of the rest of the depressing events of the last year/years--was palpable as we piled into the car after several unbearable screaming matches and almost leaving without my brother.

The bearded muse, day 5: A chronicle of No Shave November and NaNaWriMo

So I'm doing No Shave November, and I'm also attempting to do National Novel Writing Month at the same time.  Basically, this means I'm gonna be fucking nuts by the end of this month. 

Not actually, because my writing worth ethic is terrible and I'm gonna have nowhere near the huge amount of work that NaNaWriMo requires, but I decided to at least have some sort of writing piece ready every five days of this month along with a picture of the progress of my lack of shaving

Suffice it to say, the writing below is just a short story, but go ahead and take a look!  I pretty much did it all last night from like 4-6am, but whatever.

So without any further ado or bullshittin', here's a picture of the minor facial growth so far and the first thing I've written all month.  

Yarp.  Pic by my awesome friend Evan Chwalek, whose asskickin' photos can be found here and  here.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Happy Halloween to anybody and everybody reading this post!  I hope it's a wonderful one, filled with CANDY and BATS and BLOOD and CANDY BLOOD and CANDY BATS and all that hooplah.

First off, allow me to put this here, because "The Worst Witch" is the best/worst Halloween movie I've ever seen.

Quick update: "PORTAL 2" DLC and new Speakeasy article

Hey everyone!  Just a quick update on here, as there's plenty of random stuff to be doin' (read:  that I SHOULD be doing) in my life right now.

SO EXCITE for more robot lovin'!

The flavor of Innistrad.

Innistrad--the badass new classical-horror-inspired Magic: The Gathering set--comes out the weekend of Sept 25-26, which is this approaching weekend at the time of my writing of this blog post.  And I am so ready for it.

There are a few things to understand before I start spouting off about how awesome this set is, though, and so first allow me to explain a few things about Magic for those that have never gotten a chance to play/look at a card.

The Minecraft Hunger Games

Minecraft.  AND the Hunger Games.  Yes!

Recently, I was talking to my friend Brian Conklin (who is very funny and should be followed on twitter if at all possible) and he brought up a charity that he and some of his friends had started for Child's Play that combines popular book series "The Hunger Games" and the indie smash hit "Minecraft."

PokeCATS

My mind.  Blown.  Two of my favorite things in the world.  Together in beautiful harmony.  (Click the picture for the .gif to work)

I just might cry.

Also, the same guy who made NYAN CAT made this.  I think he's probably the coolest person in the world right now.

Here's a link to his blog:  http://www.prguitarman.com/index.php?id=379

Unheimlich

Hello!  This is my first attempt at a horror story of this kind that I actually liked, and so I decided to throw it up on my blog.  Take a look at it, and go ahead and comment and tell me what you think!  I loves dah feedback.

It is currently Sunday at 5:00 pm. The last arrows of weak light from the dying winter sun are piercing through the gaps in the blinds of my bedroom window. Dust motes lazily float in the warm air inside of my house while outside already freezing temperatures begin their spiraling descent into the deep chill of the night.

Dusk is the worst time of day. With the setting of the sun, a peculiar emotion filters through my body. There is loneliness, to be sure—something about the light sliding across the land, away from the rushing darkness. I feel something else as well; something that I cannot put my finger on. Something that gives me pause whenever I feel it, though I do not know why. As if I am not at home—uncomfortable and peculiar—even in my own skin.

Everything in my house is quiet, save the low hum of my computer and the background drone of warm air rushing out of metal vents near the floor, like hot breath being expelled from some primordial creature. It is comfortable now—I've drawn the curtains, the grating sound of metal rings on rusty rod sounding out in the calm.

I choose to live a life of solitude. My deformity has never, and never will, garner any positive attention for myself.

Moving

Note:  My apologies for the sappiness of this post.  I will be leaving for college soon, and soon after that my family will be selling our house in Wooster and moving everything and everyone down to Marietta.

As I drove away from my friend's house late one night on the eve of his exodus to college—the beginning of the end of my summer—a huge bouquet of emotions bloomed in my brain, the seeds of which had been planted by the memories of living in this town.

These snapshots of the past, punctuated with laughter and shouting and happiness and sadness and loneliness  of bygone times all balled into one mass inside of my psyche, set off a chain reaction.

"Cowboys and Aliens," holy crap!

"Cowboys and Aliens" was really fun to watch.  It wasn't a great movie in any sense, really.  But I'm still glad I saw it.
Because, hell, cowboys are fighting aliens in it.  And Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford team up to beat the snot out of said aliens.  And because alien/western is a pretty cool genre mash-up that shouldn't work very well at all despite the fact that it does.
And Olivia Wilde is really cute.

Pictured above:  purdy.

If you're interested in seeing my full review, check it out on Speakeasy!

My problem with the first season of "The Walking Dead"

Recently, I have talked with a few of my friends about what they thought of the first season of AMC's supposed "hit" zombie-drama "The Walking Dead."  The thing that I keep hearing from the majority of them, and the thing that continually stuns me, is that they actually really liked it.

Zombies.  How could they do it wrong?

Now, let me be clear.  I did not like this show in the least when I first saw it.  I thought that it was poorly done, ill-staffed (both in regards to the actors and the writers) and a general waste of my time.

However, I decided that mayhap I had been too harsh with the fledgling TV series.  After all, the graphic novels of "The Walking Dead" are absolutely awesome and some of my favorite things to read, and zombies have always held a special place in my heart when it comes to my entertainment love.  Much as those macabre shamblers ravenously devour flesh, I too have consumed hundreds of hours of zombie media, be it in the form of literature, movies or video game.

Honestly, I know that I can tell a good zombie story from a bad zombie story.  Rather than doubting myself, though, I decided to watch the entire "Walking Dead" first season again, now with a critical eye to not only the  show but on my attitude itself, to make sure I was not just being some rare breed of zombie hipster elitist.

After watching the series again, and taking a look at the graphic novels, and analyzing what it is exactly that so bothered me the first time I saw it, I've made a few conclusions about the show.

WARNING:  SPOILER ALERT.  I'm talking about a lot of junk from the first season, so if you don't want anything spoiled, then I suggest you leave now.  And preferably read the graphic novel to catch up...