EDITS TIME, most of the rumors in this original post have been proven to be false. Therefore, it is now a parody of itself. Everything in bold and red below will be edits that I added after the fact. ENJOY.
1. Merry Christmas from all of us here at "Quest for Cats!" (which means Merry Christmas from just me).
2. Half-Life 3 is most likely NOT coming out sometime, hopefully next year.
If you love Valve like me you've probably seen this coming for a long time, but Valve has NOT been dropping plenty of hints lately, of which are all summed up quite well in this article.<THIS ARTICLE IS ALL SPECULATION
Two of the most compelling pieces of evidence, though, are the fact that Valve has officially given the go-ahead to some insiders to start dropping hints about the next Half-Life game, and THIS WEBSITE RIGHT HERE.<THAT WEBSITE IS FAKE AS BALLS
Yes, that is a GIANT lambda symbol with a three on it, and the words "Half-Life 3" underneath it as well as FAKE Valve copyright information right below. If that isn't an indication that the game is in fact a thing and will come out, I don't know what is.
However, this is no assurance that it will come out next year. Just makes it seem more likely. And if I know Valve like I think I do, this all means that they're going to have some major announcements about the game up by late summer next year at least, be it a trailer or even some concept art.
And so, as I go to sleep while Santa passes overhead--firing gifts to all of the little bastards of the land with his magical present-zooka--you and I, my dear reader, can rest a bit easier in the knowledge that our favorite company has not forgotten about its favorite franchise.<This is still pretty accurate. Gabe Newell never forgets.
Happy hollandaise, everyone!
Oh, and don't forget about Randolph the red-nosed turret. He's legend.
UPDATE: According to Nick Oogittyboogity and some other sources on the internet, that last website was a fake, which is a pretty big bonerkill if I do say so myself. Still, other things have led me to believe that Half-Life 3 will be announced at some point in the near future (meaning the next year).<This is just me being hopeful. It's probably not gonna be announced for a long time yet. Here's to hoping we poor pitiful peon gamers will get some news about Half-Life 3 from Valve's ivory towers before we all die in our sleep in our mothers' basements someday.
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