BREAKING NEWS: composer Yanni to join rap group Brick Squad

Much-lauded composer Yanni announced some incredibly shocking news on Tuesday at an AP press conference: he would be leaving his prolific career behind in the pursuit of a “more active, enriching musical experience.”

In a subsequent personal interview with the NY Times, the aging artist divulged that not only was he quitting composing—he would be joining popular rap group 1017 Brick Squad.

Pictured above:  Yanni and Gucci have been firm friends
outside of the limelight of the media for many years.

This news comes after Yanni—famed for his tireless work in music composition and fund-raising—had just released his latest live album during a free PBS broadcast of the show, “Yanni Live at El Morro.”

“I was so incredibly tired of always writing these huge musical productions—it was like people only expected me to compose music without showing off any of my obvious lyrical and instrumental talents,” Yanni said in the interview.

“You can always see me playing the air guitar and air piano and such... and being visibly affected by my music in front of the crowd. I just wanted people to know that I can perform—but it never got any appreciation.”

On the other hand, Brick Squad has steadily increased in popularity since its conception in 2008, recently picking up members Fatal and Creation after the tragic murder of Slim Dunkin while in his studio recording music last year.

Squad patriarch Gucci Mane offered some explanation—appearing much more reserved than usual—as the reporters flocked to question him about the induction of their latest member.

“My man Yanni got the truth in his heart, he just finally realize how to express it after years of makin' his shit. We been close as brothers for so long, it only made sense we be here for him in his uh... time of need.”

He paused at this juncture, taking time to wipe the single tear tracing his ice cream cone tattoo as it fell down his cheek.

“Yanni is gonn be the best thing to happen to my boys and I since Dunkin. We all got our own uh demons know what I'm saying and we gonna work together to fight them. Be stronger by the end of this shit, yeah?”

However, other members of Brick Squad did not seem so enthused about their prospective new partner.

Waka Flocka Flame refused interviews as he hurried from his apartment in southside Atlanta, Georgia to his car Wednesday evening, though he did shout something along the lines of “bullshit coffee drankass culture greek biscuit motherfucker” and “who the fuck end they name with an 'I'”

On the other hand, member O.J. Da Juiceman was a bit more forthcoming with information when reached for questioning earlier today.

“Ya'll bitches know I'm all up in dat skreet shit, the skreets is where I'm from, the skreets is where I be. This Yanni clownass motherfucker? He ain't never been to the skreets, he probably ain't even know the first place to start looking when on the search for said skreets, and he probably ride his clownass car around looking for em and get lost and end up going to motherfucking Chuck E. Cheese or some bullshitass place and he and his boys pile out that car like a buncha clowns,” O.J. Said.

"But then again I don't worry about it.  I'm getting money."

As tensions seem to mount within the group, the entirety of the entertainment world looks on dubiously. 

Such an explosion of egos and personalities has not been seen since the 1977 breakup of Sonny and Cher. 

However, Yanni had only positive words for his new partners in music. Like the rising of the Santorinian sun above the blue waters of his home, Yanni flashed his trademark dazzling smile when asked about possible difficulties with his acceptance into Brick Squad.

“Listen, I understand that they may be nervous... but we are all one soul... we're all scared of change and of new things, but on the inside we all understand that, and can reach out and help each other. Μου αρέσουν πολύ οι κακοί ~ I love my fellow man.”

Shoutout to Nick Southall for the awesome idea.