A new F-Zero, Nintendo? Please?

F-Zero is a fantastic Nintendo franchise that needs a new entry, especially with the crazy hardware capabilities of both the WiiU and the 3DS. The last major console title -- F-Zero GX for the Gamecube -- was a kickass game and one of my favorite racing games of all time. It came out in 2003 and I STILL love playing it to this day.

I could talk for days about GX, but I would much rather talk about what's great about the franchise and why it absolutely needs a new game in the series. For those who don't know how awesome F-Zero really is, buckle up for a sec and read on.

Imagine, for a minute: the year is 20XX, of fabled Nintendo fame. Space travel is so possible we don't even give a fuck about it anymore. We humans are too busy RIPPING THE GALAXY APART so we can put crazy anti-gravity racing tracks everywhere for our own enjoyment.

You're some alien dude with a souped-up zero-gravity machine called an F-Zero, and you wanna race your ASS off in the most watched sport in the world: the F-Zero Grand Prix. Only thing standing in your way? 29 other borderline insane racers who want nothing more than to crush you into a fine silicon dust on the racetrack. Including this motherfucker:

"Black Shadow," a douche villain/C. Falcon's nemesis.

On tracks like this:

It's called "Fire Fields" because it's literally just a tube suspended above a bunch of lava...

And then there's Captain Falcon, the main protagonist who can blow up the entire damn universe with his punches:

2012: the year that gaming (sort of) grew up

Instead of another dreaded year-end "best of" list that most folk love to hate, I decided to take some time to go over some of the important trends and news stories from the game industry. Gaming turned 40 last year -- and with this progression the claims that it has "grown up." In my opinion, the growing pains have just begun.

Geoff Keighley being dead inside is a pretty good way to sum up how weird last year was.

2012 was a wild year for gaming as a global community. As a whole, the entire business of thinking about video games has been in the process of upheaval from all corners, regardless of how slow actual progress may seem to be. There were also a lot of painful, awkward incidents that (hopefully) helped teach universal lessons to developers, writers, PR execs and gamers alike.

In my own opinion, one of the biggest things that happened to the gaming community in 2012 was the corrosion of the powerful hold that shitty, racist, sexist and sophomoric people have on our electronic entertainment. Part of this beautiful corrosion was a result of the continued blossoming of games writing sites that encourage thoughtful discourse about the tenets of game design and the issues surrounding it. For example: BrainyGamer, Gamasutra, Rock, Paper, Shotgun, and even Kotaku all had some wonderful posts.

My Pokemon Nuzlocke, Chapter 3: THICK AS A BROCK

>>continued from here.

Hey guys!  Just plugging Jessica Staub's artwork again here because she does ALL OF THE ART for this and it is AWESOME.  Gooo here and give her work upboats or whatever happens on deviantart, I don't really know how it works.

Chapter 3: Thick as a BROCK

I had been flying through the next leg of my journey ever since Gail joined Goldie, Jade and I. Route 2 was pretty tiny. When I tried to catch a Rattata I found there, Gail ended up kicking it so hard that it exploded instantly.

That's something I'm not gonna forget anytime soon.

The only way to Pewter City from there was through Viridian Forest. Honestly, I don't understand how a simple road from one city to the next is so fucking HARD TO COME BY in a world that has computers that can digitize animals into complex online libraries.

My Pokemon Nuzlocke, Chapter 2: A dickbag among the trees

>>continued from here.

Chapter 2: A dickbag among the trees

As I explored Viridian the next day with Goldie on my shoulder and Jade at my side, I ran into a kid talking to some rocks on the ground. I tried to tiptoe past him but his freak-sensors apparently activated, shouting “HEY YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT TWO DIFFERENT KINDS OF CATERPILLAR POKEMON?”

Stunned momentarily, I backed away slowly, shaking my head and whispering “No... no thanks. I'm.. I'm fine.”

He turned his head back to his rocks, saying “Oh, okay then,” more to himself than me.

Kanto is fucking weird.

My Pokemon Nuzlocke: welcome, and chapter 1

Hello, all!  Lately, I've been playing Pokemon LeafGreen version (which is a remake of Pokemon Blue Version) with a very special set of rules that some of you may have heard of before: a Nuzlocke Challenge.

The basic rules are as follows:

1.  If any Pokemon is to be "knocked out" by anything,  they are then considered "killed" and you must release them and can never use them again.

2.  You may only capture the first Pokemon that you find in any new area.  If you fail or knock it out, you cannot catch any more.

3.  You must give every single Pokemon you catch a nickname.

I also added in one extra rule to help me out a little bit because I seem to be really uber unlucky with critical hits:

4.  The first time a Pokemon dies from a lucky, random critical hit, they can be saved ONCE.  Only once, and you cannot choose which event.  Only the first time it happens.

Aside from those stipulations, I will be playing it like any normal game of Pokemon--with the intent of writing a STORY about it!  Therefore, I hope you guys get as attached to my Pokemon as I do throughout this whole experience.  

This story is going to be incredibly melodramatic and it's meant to be a fun/sometimes sad retelling of the events of my game as I see them through the eyes of a character who isn't the normal mum hero of Pokemon lore (I don't wanna say it's me but it pretty much is).  Another cool thing about this project is that I'm getting my cool artist-ly friend Jessica Staub to illustrate some of the story! Here's a link to her DeviantArt page.  Awesome, right?  

I'll be updating with a new chapter of the story every week or so, right here on my blog.  Uhm.. I think that's about it, but I hope you guys like the story thus far and wanna keep coming back to the story!  

Without any further ado, Jess and I would like present you with my...

In a land very far away, people have learned to coexist with the animal side of the world—to count them not only as other living creatures but also as friends and partners. This strange land's name is Kanto, and those animals are called “Pokemon.”

In Kanto, it is customary for children in some families to leave with their beloved Pokemon in tow in the pursuit of bettering themselves and their animals friends. They become Pokemon “trainers,” creating teams, helping their Pokemon grow and learning about the birthright they were born into. Many of those children hope to someday reach the pinnacle of trainership: to beat the best trainers in the land at the Pokemon League and become the Pokemon Champion.

This story follows the path of somebody who had never had a chance to strike out on his own; a particularly jaded, foul-mouthed young man from Pallet town.

FART CAT

Just a quick update here because this made me die of laughter earlier today:  FART CAT.

It's a game where you feed a cat until he farts.  It's available now for a dollar in the App store.  GET IT ON YOUR PHONES.  

There's not much else I can say about this game that this trailer doesn't already say perfectly.

yeah....

I really honestly can't wait to see what the guys from Summer Camp Games are gonna do next--this is their first game ever, but judging by their candor and humor in the video I'm sure they're gonna make plenty of great stuff.  

Hopefully if this awesome little app sells well they'll move on to bigger and better things.

Digital immortalization

Death is a specter that haunts everybody throughout their lives.  Sometimes it may seem like it's everywhere--in our personal lives, in our jobs, in the news--and that's because it is.  It is an inescapable part of life, though everyone deals with it in their own way. Often times for myself, it's hard to even fathom the concept even when it's one of the few single experiences that every human being will eventually share and has been since the beginning of time.

I apologize for wanting to write about such a somber topic, but the recent theater murders in Aurora, Colorado as a result of one cowardly person's actions have sent my brain into a tizzy.